Current:Home > MyThis mother-in-law’s outrageous request went viral. Why 'grandmas' are rejecting that title. -WorldMoney
This mother-in-law’s outrageous request went viral. Why 'grandmas' are rejecting that title.
View
Date:2025-04-22 18:56:59
Are terms like "grandma" and "grandpa" a thing of the past? Some baby boomers apparently hope so.
Earlier this month, a woman went viral on TikTok for sharing a video about how her mother-in-law doesn't want to be called "grandma." Her suggestions instead? Mama paired with her last name − so Mama Smith, for example. This was quickly vetoed as her son and daughter-in-law pointed out this would likely end up shortened to mama, which did not sit well with the child's mom. The mother-in-law's next pick? "Queen mother."
"To be fair, I think she's watching 'Bridgerton,' so that may have played a role," the TikToker said in a video with 1.9 million views, adding her mother-in-law said it could be shortened to "queenie." She and her husband coaxed her mother-in-law out of "queenie" and got her to eventually agree to "G-ma."
The comments were flooded with users who lamented they've fielded similar requests from their parents and in-laws: "My father seriously wanted to be called 'your honor;' "My mom wanted mom-mom 'because I'm their mom's mom.' No. Hard no;" "My (mother-in-law) just wanted Mama. I have never laughed at someone so hard." And recent data also speaks to that trend.
In August, Preply surveyed 1,500 Americans across all 50 states and found, "The baby boomer generation is … opting for nicknames that resonate more with their vibrant spirit and sense of individuality."
The most-popular alternatives for grandma include nicknames like "Gigi," "Bibi" and "Momo;" while the most-popular grandpa alternatives include options like "G-pa" and "Grandude."
Boomers aren't the first generation to shake up traditional titles, but experts say their quest to reinvent what they're called as grandparents shows how many feel about aging and entering their golden years.
Why do people not want to be called 'grandma' or 'grandpa'?
Erik Anderson, a licensed marriage and family therapist, speculates there could be multiple reasons why baby boomers are opting to forgo being called "grandma" and "grandpa," including a denial of getting older.
It's also possible that, instead of denying their age, they more so don't want to seem old-fashioned or see themselves in the same light as their own grandparents.
Also, in a culture that emphasizes embracing the authentic self, new grandparents may just want to feel unique.
"People end up acting in relatively predictable ways, even when they're trying to strive for individuality and uniqueness," Anderson says.
Sometimes there could be a more sinister motivation. A grandmother wanting to be called "mama," for instance, may want to usurp control of a grandchild from their mother by going by a similar title.
"People should have the freedom to be addressed by whatever they would like, but again, it has to be something too that's not duplicating what already exists or infringes on the parents," psychotherapist Stephanie Sarkis says. "It could be a power and control issue. (Or) it could just be not being aware of how that could impact the parent."
Furious at your parents for aging?You're not alone.
What if a grandparent wants to be called something outrageous?
So what should parents do if a grandparent wants to be called something truly outrageous? Anderson and Sarkis agree that, while it's generous to let a grandparent select their title, ultimately, the child's parents get final approval.
"The family with the young children gets to make those decisions, or at least has a little more leeway or rights than grandma or grandpa," Anderson says, adding that parents setting boundaries also sets a healthy example for their children.
How will you look when you're 80?A new TikTok filter predicts Gen Z's future wrinkles, and insecurities, in a viral trend
Sarkis says it's important to be firm, yet compassionate, toward grandparents who insist on an inappropriate title, while still explaining your reasons for rejecting their request.
"You just say, 'Hey, that name, well, we don't want to confuse the baby, so how about we come up with another name?' " Sarkis says. "People have the right to come up with a name that they find appropriate for them, but the parent also has the right to say that that's not OK with them."
If a grandparent does come up with a nickname that both they and the child's parents like, then it can be a good way of allowing the grandparent to feel empowered as they step into their new role as grandma − or g-ma or whatever they want to call it.
"That freedom of being able to choose what you want to be called, there's a lot of power in that," Sarkis says. "For some people, they just don't identify with certain names for grandparents, and that's OK."
Melissa Gilbert:'Little House on the Prairie' star on why she ditched Botox, embraced aging
veryGood! (4)
Related
- The Super Bowl could end in a 'three
- Idaho lawmakers pass bills targeting LGBTQ+ citizens. Protesters toss paper hearts in protest
- A former Houston police officer is indicted again on murder counts in a fatal 2019 drug raid
- Video shows Savannah Graziano shot by San Bernardino County sheriff's deputies
- Military service academies see drop in reported sexual assaults after alarming surge
- Regina Hill: What to know about the suspended Orlando city commissioner facing 7 felonies
- Lawsuit asks judge to disqualify ballot measure that seeks to repeal Alaska’s ranked voting system
- Abdallah Candies issues nationwide recall of almond candy mislabeled as not containing nuts
- Civic engagement nonprofits say democracy needs support in between big elections. Do funders agree?
- Michigan prosecutors seek 10 to 15 years in prison for James and Jennifer Crumbley
Ranking
- Federal hiring is about to get the Trump treatment
- Katie Holmes, Jim Parsons and Zoey Deutch to star in 'Our Town' Broadway revival
- Patient stabs 3 staff members at New York mental health facility
- Stock market today: Asian shares mostly rise cheered by Wall Street finish
- Friday the 13th luck? 13 past Mega Millions jackpot wins in December. See top 10 lottery prizes
- US applications for jobless benefits rise to highest level in two months, but layoffs remain low
- US Sen. Rick Scott spends multiple millions on ads focused on Florida’s Hispanic voters
- Jay-Z's Made in America festival canceled for second consecutive year
Recommendation
Federal appeals court upholds $14.25 million fine against Exxon for pollution in Texas
Experienced climber found dead in Mount St. Helens volcano crater 1,200 feet below summit
UConn women back in Final Four. How many national championships have the Huskies won?
Why Heather Rae El Moussa Says Filming Selling Sunset Was “Very Toxic”
Jamie Foxx reps say actor was hit in face by a glass at birthday dinner, needed stitches
'We do not know how to cope': Earth spinning slower may prompt negative leap second
The one thing you'll want to do is the only thing not to do while driving during solar eclipse
Burglars steal $30 million in cash from Los Angeles money storage facility, police say